In Zeus, Cervantes and Da Vinci We Trust.

Sometime a few years ago, it suddenly became really trendy to have multiple editions of each coin. For example, the US adopted these new state quarters, which are just like the old ones, except each one has the symbols of a particular state on the back. New York, for example, is represented by the Statue of Liberty, while Iowa is represented by a one-room schoolhouse in a cornfield. Connecticut has a tree for some reason that I never really understood, but I guess it is appropriate, as there do seem to be trees in Connecticut. New Hampshire's coin, on the other hand, has a picture of something that it does not posses anymore; the old man in the mountain, a rock formation that fell down a few years ago. I've been away so long that I can't accurately recall the pictures on the other coins, but I can conjure up memories of a banjo, a horse, the outline of New Jersey, and a minuteman with a rifle. New quarters are being issued every ten weeks or so, in the same order that the states entered the union, and lots of people are hoarding little piles of quarters in hopes of collecting all fifty. Just like McDonald's gets kids to get their parents to buy happy meals in order to collect all five plastic Disney toys, the American government gets grown-ups to collect quarters.
And, here in the E.U., a similar phenomenon is taking place with the Euro. While all Euro coins look the same on the front, the backs all have special designs corresponding to the country that they came from. (You can use any Euro coin in any Euro-using country, of course, and in some other places too, like Turkey.)
Here in Greece, the little 1, 2 and 5 cent coins have pictures of boats, while the 10, 20 and 50 cent coins have pictures of important figures in Greek history, one of whom is Eleftherides Venizelos. The one-Euro coin has the Athenian owl, which apparently used to be on the drachma, and the 2-Euro coin has a picture that the Euro website refers to as "the young princess Europa being abducted by Zeus in the shape of a bull." A similar design appears on an ancient coin that can be viewed at the Thessaloniki archeological museum. As a matter of fact, it was a trip to the archeological museum that got me thinking about the picture in the first place.
"Europa abducted by the bull?" I thought to myself. "Wait a minute...wasn't that one of those young women that Zeus raped?" Suddenly my politically-correct brow furrowed and an angry, indignant cry escaped my lips. "You mean to tell me there's a rape scene on my money?" Perhaps I should stop criticizing people who are shocked by Brokeback Mountain and start thinking about the the coins I used to purchase my ticket to said film. I tried to placate myself by reminding myself that Greece actually has money with a picture of woman on it, something that has not yet been seen in the US, unless you count the statue of liberty on the New York state quarter. (Oh yeah, and there are those Sacajawea/Susan B. Anthony dollars too, huh? But apart from the Metro card machines in the NYC subway, nobody seems to actually use those) Ultimately, I still can't quite consider this any great step forward for feminism.
Speaking of women on money, I must make a brief mention of the British two-pound coin, which shows Queen Elizabeth on one side, and a strange, trippy design on the other side that I was never actually able to make sense of. I eventually decided that this mysterious picture was meant to symbolize the tricky nature of the two pound coin itself, which looks small and trivial to American eyes, but is actually worth enough to buy about five ice-cream sundaes in Grinnell, Iowa. (At least, that's how much it was worth when I studied abroad. The changing exchange rate has probably made it worth enough to buy the entire Dari Barn.)
Back to the Euro, I have spent some time perusing the official Euro website (http://http://europa.eu.int/comm/economy_finance/euro/notes_and_coins/coins_images_el_en.htm,) which has pictures of all the coins as well as descriptions of the images that adorn them, and I have come to following conclusions:
-Despite my fuss over the rape scene, I really do like the one-Euro Greek owl coin.
-I like the Spain coins, which have pictures of Cervantes and quills to symbolize the importance of literature. Of course, as everyone keeps reminding me that the financial prospects of an English degree are not great, I am somewhat mystified by the connections between literature and money. (All right, there is a connection if you happen to be, say, J.K. Rowling, but I do not happen to be her.)
-Italy has lovely coins, with pictures of different works of art by Botticelli, Da Vinci, and Michelangelo and a portrait of Dante. I think this is awesome. In fact, come to think of it, the British also have Dickens on their money, don't they? Well, screw it, I don't care if there's no connection between literature and money. I want Walt Whitman and Emily Dickenson on my money. I want coins with Mark Twain and Woody Guthrie on them. I'm sick of looking at grumpy George Washington.
-Finland has a picture of swans flying over the Finnish landscape, and the Austrians have flowers. I like this too. The States should have some more pictures of nature on their coins too. I guess some of the state quarters have natural things on them, but I'm not talking about state quarters. I want a big picture of a moose or a mountain to cover up, say, Alexander Hamilton. This would be a welcome change from having a bunch of politicians cover up Mount Rushmore, which was probably perfectly attractive without unnecessary presidents hacked into it. Or, (in the vein of People and Things Shot By Politicians,) maybe we could have a coin with a picture of Teddy Roosevelt refusing to shoot the chained up bear. I think that would be a very nice image. Does anyone else find it ironic that while Roosevelt refused to shoot the locked-up bear, Dick Cheney purposefully went to shoot the chained-up-quail and shot his hunting partner? Does anyone else feel that this is somehow symbolic?
-Ireland has a Celtic harp on their money. I think it is very pretty.
-Vatican City apparently used to have pictures of John Paul II on their money, but soon they are going to have the new guy, whose name I still do not remember. I do find it somewhat strange to find religious leaders on money, but the Vatican is a religous state. Of course, this religious state does not have 'In God We Trust' on their money. The United States, a secular nation founded by people seeking religious freedom, does. On the other hand, the 'God' in the aforementioned phrase is presumably not in the process of carrying a young woman away in order to molest her.

Now that I have used this discussion of money to thoroughly bash the United States from every possible angle, I am going to go take a shower, eat Greek salad for lunch, and daydream about used bookstores, Central Park and barbecue. I really don't hate America. It just frustrates me sometimes.