Wednesday, August 30, 2006

In Which I Wonder (Like The Cast of Rent) How Do You Measure A Year

I know I've been rather absent from the blog world lately, but I haven't disappeared, really, it's just been a messy few weeks. However, I will continue to write, even though I suppose I can't really call myself Emily Z in Greece anymore. I'm thinking I ought to come up with a new name. Actually, I have been thinking about coming up with a new name ever since I picked the old one in a rush. I figure I ought to be able to come up with something more creative, you know, one of those catchy cute little names that people design for their internet selves. Or should I create a whole new blog? I don't know. I don't think I will, not yet. In any case, I'll be blogging somewhere, about something.
One year ago to the day I was frantically packing my bags and thinking that a whole year sounded like a really long time. Now it's been a whole year and it does seem like a whole year, but I still don't quite believe it. I don't know if I should say that I'm in culture shock, because I'm no longer saying 'Signomi' to strangers on the subway or dipping my fork into communal plates on the table. (This is acceptable in Greece, but when you do it in the US, people glare at you, particularly when they are your sister.)
I don't know the exact definition of culture shock, but I will say this: Greece is on my mind all the time. Images of Thessaloniki pop into my mind at random, like a slide show of all the pictures I never took. Greek sentences automatically form themselves in my brain, incorrect but everpresent, just in case I need them. The bottom of the movie screen seems deserted without Greek subtitles. Real iced coffee, made with real coffee grounds and no frappe mixer, tastes weird as hell. I don't understand why any restaurant would actually stop serving dinner at 9pm, and why on earth anyone would voluntarily consume American cheese. (But you know, I've always been a snob about that, so it's nothing new.) I go about my life in New York, as I always did, but I'm haunted, ever-so-slightly, by the ghost of another place. Sometimes it's sad, sometimes, bittersweet, sometimes funny, sometimes I'm just overwhelmingly glad to be home, and sometimes I'd do anything to get the hell out of here and back on a plane to Thessaloniki.
A few specific observations? They have new ten dollar bills here. I went to the deli across the street one day and pulled out a ten to pay for my sandwich. It was a strange reddish hue and I gave it a look of such confusion that the man behind the counter announced, teasing, "That's play money! You can't pay with that!" It took me a few moments to realize he was kidding, at which point I started to feel like a real idiot and turned the color of the money.
And pomegranates! While I was off in Greece discovering pomegranates and feeling adventurous and exotic, all of America was discovering pomegranates right at home. There aren't many actual pomegranates around, of course, but there is pomegranate tea, pomegranate juice, pomegranate ice cream, baked goods with pomegranate essence, and pomegranate cocktails. I don't know what brought this all about, but I have mixed feelings. I'm delighted to see my new favorite fruit everywhere, but I'm sad to realize that my love for juicy red seeds is no longer a unique phenomenon from abroad, but rather one more person jumping on the bandwagon. I'll have to resign myself to being hip instead of exotic.
So anyway, here I am, 365 days after my initial departure (but only 364 days past my arrival), reminiscing, functioning but still in some state of shock, thinking about home and how glad I am to be here and how much I want to leave. It's easier than I thought it would be, and maybe easier than I wanted it to be. But I'm here, that's all.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

wow, pomegranates are (well, were) exotic!!I 've never realised that...
And a question: Is it that hard to find Greek feta in NY? I'm thinking on coming to live over there for 3 years at least, and you're making me anxious

Emily said...

Pomegranates are/were exotic, sort of...I mean, they're definitely available in these parts, but they're not everywhere the way they are in Greece...
As for Greek feta, of course it's available! I've seen it inalmost every grocery store I've been to since i've been home. Of course, it may not be quite as good as the stuff you get in Greece, and you might not be able to choose between three or four or ten varieties, but it's here. Paprika sauce, though, that's damned impossible to find.

Anonymous said...

Hey there Emily,

You might want to check out the Greek Language and Culture Meetup group that I run - you can learn about us on http://greek.meetup.com/5. We are a group of Greeks, Greek Americans and Philhellenes - I would love to have you join us.

Jay

thatha said...

On the other hand, I don't care about you joining any groups and what not, but I was very moved by your description. O, Thessaloniki, such a charmer, no?

- Ian di Salonica.